Sunday, 13 September 2015

FIRST DATES ...

A friend of mine asked me about a first date and what was the appropriate etiquette on a date, and she then said that I should blog about it, and do a series of blogs on relationships, self-confidence, and just life in general. So I am going to do exactly that, so every Sunday I will be doing a post where I just write about certain topics and then on a Wednesday I will be writing reviews and showing you fashion and beauty items. I have actually asked a couple of men that my friend and I know about what they think should happen on a first date so it is more balanced and not all focusing on what a girl should do.


First dates, are probably one of the most nerve-wracking encounters you can have. I am more nervous about going on a first date than sitting a three hour exam. There will always be awkward moments, from a lack of conversation, to knowing what to wear, as well as finding the perfect venue and whether you should kiss them goodnight. I want to just give you some of my tips to help make your first dates more relaxing so they are less awkward and hopefully you will be able to find true love.

CHOOSING THE PERFECT VENUE
It doesn't really matter who chooses the venue, but if you are the one who has to decide then take some time thinking about where you would love to go. You don't want to pick somewhere too expensive and formal because that can make the date awkward and give off a wrong impression that you want him or her to pay as well. (I will be writing a tip on who pays for the bill a bit later in this blog). The best venue for a first date is somewhere where it is casual and not too expensive but is still romantic. Some great places for a first date are coffee, bowling, a restaurant which isn't too formal, going to a park, ice skating, or even going to the cinema.  

TIMING
This might sound strange but timing is everything when it comes to first dates. There is nothing worse that being stood up, and this is the case for both men and women. Obviously you will set a time for the date, and if you were to go to a cinema then you will have to be on time so you don't miss the movie. But I think you can be 5 minutes late so you don't look overly keen, even if you have the biggest crush on him), however any later than 5 minutes is risky because it can look rude. This is the same for the men as well!! If you are going to be late make sure you text him or her so they know you will be late. I am a very punctual person and I always have to be early to places so I am hardly ever late on a first date.

THE OUTFIT
For any girl the outfit is the most important part of getting ready for a first date, and this can be the same for the men. Obviously you want to pick an outfit that will work with the venue you have chosen. So if you have chosen to go bowling or have a coffee then you won't want to wear a evening dress. Avoid anything low cut or too short as this can give off the wrong impression but dress the way you want to. A pretty dress is great for most venues or just a pretty top with a pair of jeans can work. It is important that you wear something that you feel comfortable and confident in. This is the same case for the men. I don't really know much about men's fashion as much as I do about women's. So I decided to ask a couple of my friends what they would wear on a first date and some of the answers were interesting and I had to ignore them as they didn't take is seriously. But one of them said that for a casual date they would wear a simple pair of jeans with a shirt or a jumper. I wouldn't suggest wearing a designer brand especially where its stitched onto the shirt or jumper. Just because your date might not be able to afford a designer dress or shirt and so it can give the wrong impression on a first date. But my biggest piece of advice would be to look smart but be comfortable!!!

CONVERSATION
Conversation is probably the most awkward part of any first date. Try to keep the conversation balanced as much as you can!! Ask him or her questions when they are appropriate, I have had a couple of first dates where I got asked very personal questions and I was put off because it wasn't appropriate on a first date. A first date is your best opportunity to find out about someone and see if you have anything in common, but don't dig too deeply and don't talk about money, ex partners, religion or politics as it isn't appropriate on a first date. You want to keep the conversation quite light-hearted so it won't be too awkward and save the serious topics for later on in the relationship. Also it is best to not have your phone on the table at all during your date. I was on a date where he just looked at his phone the whole time and it is really rude to do so, and this applies to both men and women. You are there to find out if you are going to want to date this person and you can look at your phone once the date is over!!

PAYING FOR THE BILL
Some people have different ideas about who pays for the bill. A lot of men will offer to pay the bill but you can't just expect them to pay the whole bill especially on a first date. It is important that you do offer to split the bill, because it will come across that you are being rude and will be off-putting. This is also the same if the women pays, then the men should offer to pay half. But if the other person still wants to pay for the bill then don't argue too much, but just ask if they are sure that they want to pay for the whole bill. If you do end up splitting the bill, then don't be offended. It has always been traditional that the men pay for the bill, but it's only fair to offer to split the bill and pay for you equal share, and it is the polite thing to do.

THE GOODBYE
I am going to do a separate tip on kissing, but the goodbye is important because it covers whether you are going to meet up again. This is the part of the date that can be the most awkward because you don't know if you will see them again and if they enjoyed the date. Sometimes your date will say that they had a great time and that they want to meet up again and will actually arrange your next date right there and then. However, there are some times when you think the date has gone really well but you might never hear from them again. It is best to end a date by giving him a hug and saying that it was nice to meet them, and leave it at that. If he says he wants to meet again and he will text you, the give him a kiss on the cheek! I don't see a problem with the girl texting a guy to make arrangements for a second date, even though it is traditional for the man to make arrangements for the second date. If the date does go well then you can give him a goodnight kiss but leave it at that on the first date, and definitely don't go home with each other!!! 

THE KISS
So the kiss can be very awkward because you never know if your date actually wants to be kissed. Obviously if you can see your date leaning in for a kiss then you can kiss him or her back. I think it's always best to just give him a kiss on the cheek, even if the date went really bad, just because it is polite. If the date did go really well then you can obviously kiss him or her on the lips but it is best to avoid making out basically. And leave it at that, don't go home with him or her because you don't want to seem to eager plus your date might feel uncomfortable and would prefer to wait to see if it becomes a proper relationship. Obviously it is you choice how you kiss him or her!!! And you can just hug them instead of kissing them!

I hope these tips will make First Dates less awkward and next Sunday I will be doing a post on how to make relationships last!!

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